40 Day Challenge: I Said, Change Your Attitude!

Yesterday, all across the nation we celebrated Mother’s Day. Even though my dear mom went to be with the Lord last year, there are many things I learned from her that continue to affect my life today. So many times when I would be angry, quarreling with one of my brothers, or just having a bad day, she would say with a stern and yet loving voice, “Son, Change your attitude!” It wasn’t a request or a suggestion…it was a command that would often carry with it severe consequences if I resisted her instruction. I would hear again, “I said, change your attitude and do it now!” If compliance wasn’t quickly enough for her, she would then add, “Do you need me to call your Father?” That’s all it took for my expression, words and behavior to change immediately!

Looking back all these years later, I am still amazed at how capable I was of going from being angry, frustrated, and gloom filled, to being happy, considerate and agreeable so quickly! You see, we CAN change our attitude if the motivation to do so is great enough!

It seems as though, the older we get, the more set in our ways we become and the more convinced we are that lasting change is impossible. However, if the pain of “staying put” ever outweighs the struggle of adjustment, we will surprise ourselves at how quickly we can modify our attitude and behavior.

Today, we begin a new week in our 40 Days Of Fasting Negativity,  I want to focus on how we go about changing our attitudes. Attitude is the sail that sets the course and determines the direction of our lives. It reveals the spiritual condition of our heart, filters our words, and dictates our actions. It is one of the single most important elements of our lives. Nothing is worse than a bad attitude and nothing more refreshing than a positive attitude.

The poet, Ella Wheeler Wilcox wrote, “One ship sails East, and another West, by the self-same winds that blow, ’tis the set of the sails and not the gales, that determines the way we go. Like the winds of the sea are the waves of time, as we journey along through life, ’tis the set of the soul, that determines the goal, and not the calm or the strife.” It is our attitude concerning the things that life throws at us that dictates how we respond to it and how it affects us. Attitude really is everything…

In order to change our attitude we need to …

• Change our thought life. “As a man thinks so is he.” (Read yesterday’s devotional)
• Monitor your words. Over the past few weeks we’ve talked a lot about the power of words. Remember one of the basic scriptures in the Bible reminds us that “death and life is in the power of the tongue and we will eat the fruit of the words that we speak.” (Proverbs 18:21). Think about this…you have the capacity to either bring forth life, blessing and goodness, or death, cursing and bad-will.  It is up to us which one we empower to impact our lives. That choice is made by the words we choose to speak on a daily basis. You can be cruel, demeaning, and cutting with your words and bring death, confusion and pain into your family, marriage, friendship and life in general, or you can choose right now to reject the negativity and say, “NO” to death and “YES” to life by choosing to speak positive, healing and uplifting words.

You may feel like you’ve been a negative person for so long that you can’t change but I assure you that you can…quickly…through the power of the Holy Spirit at work within your life all things are possible; even change. Romans 12:2 promises that transformation will come if we renew our minds. It only requires enough motivation. How badly do you want a peaceful home? How serious are you about overcoming the dysfunctions of your past? How willing are you to adjust the sail?

Say this with me… “Today, I choose to cultivate a positive attitude. I will fix my thoughts on good things, things that are edifying, positive and uplifting. I will deliberately speak the words of God, words of blessing and enriching. I will change my attitude today so that I can keep my life headed in the right direction…In Jesus’ name…Amen”

40 Day Challenge: That Stinks!

My grandmother used to tell the story of an old Texas rancher who every day would come home from long hours of working in the fields and sit on the front porch and fall asleep. One day his grandchildren decided to play a joke on him. They took crumbled Limburger Cheese and sprinkled it in his mustache. The stench quickly awakened him. He got up and went into the house and said, “Man, it stinks in here. He continued into the kitchen and proclaimed, “It stinks in here too.” He walked out the backdoor and said with a sigh, “The whole world stinks!”

The truth was he was carrying the stink around with him everywhere he went. That can be the case with all of us. People go from church to church, job to job, relationship to relationship hoping that things will improve and life will “smell good again!”

However, few ever realize that nothing really changes in your life until you change your attitude. You can change churches, marriage partners, places of employment, dress differently, move to a different region of the country, and so forth; but until you re-examine your values, regulate you level of willingness and change your choices, YOU will follow YOU everywhere YOU go and eventually those familiar patterns and problems will reappear! Until YOU change, you will never experience lasting change in your life or circumstances.

Yesterday, I defined attitude as “thoughts and views regarding anything as well as the affects those view have on us emotionally and practically.” Our attitude is an inward feeling expressed by behavior.

• I said that attitude is the sail that determines the direction or course of our lives. It charts the course, sets the direction and determines how the winds of change, opposition and opportunity affect us. How we respond to the challenges and opportunities that come into our lives determine how they impact us. The good news is, if you are not happy with the direction or course of your life you can make huge changes by simply adjusting your attitude. It will get you pointed in the right direction.
• I also said that attitude is the thermometer of our spirit. It gives us an indication of the condition of our heart.  Jesus taught us that what comes out of our mouths and what is produced around us is a reflection of what is in abundance within us. Our attitude gives us a means of measuring the spiritual condition of our hearts.
• Our attitude determines or actions. No matter how hard we try to hide it, it reveals itself through our words and deeds. Whatever is on the inside will make its way to the outside. No matter what has happened to you (some of you have had tough times; bad marriages, health, money issues…etc.), the attitude choice though is still yours. Jesus wants to help you choose and cultivate a positive attitude. Your outlook-how you see life will determine the choices you make. It determines how you relate to God, to others and how you react to life’s challenges and opportunities!
• Lastly, I said I attitude can be changed. Our attitude is a choice…consciously or subconsciously we choose to think like we do, feel like we feel and act as we act. You can change it you want it badly enough. The Bible has several passages where we are commanded to rejoice in the time of sorrow, forgive in the time of offense, stand when we would otherwise run, and give when we are in need. How does one do that? How does a person go against his natural instincts and inclinations? Through the power of the Holy Spirit. Paul said, “I can do all things through Christ Who gives me power.” (Phil. 4:13).

The question is HOW?

1. Take Charge Of Your Thought Life

FIX; “Fix your thoughts on what is true and good and right. Think about things that are pure and lovely, and dwell on the fine, good things in others. Think about all you can praise God for and be glad about it.” (Phil 4:6,7 LB) We cannot allow our minds to be overwhelmed with negative or destructive thoughts; instead we must deliberately choose positive thoughts over negative ones.

FILTER; Would you eat out of a garbage can that not only had garbage in it, but had maggots, flies and bugs? I seriously doubt it. In the same way, create a filter over your eyes, hears and thoughts and filter the garbage out.

FEED; Doctors are beginning to discover that what we feed our bodies has a huge effect in our physical health. Diseases varying from diabetes to cancer, to heart disease and many more are directly associated with our diets. Eating the wrong things can kill you! And, it’s not enough to stop eating bad food, you have to replace it with good, healthy food, otherwise we will starve. The same is true with the mind. What are you feeding your mind? What are you listening to, looking at or thinking about? Filter out the garbage and then begin to feed your mind with the right food and it will regain a healthy attitude.

When the enemy tries to bring the poison of negative emotions, thoughts that bring you down, or tries to get you to focus on things that aren’t going in the right direction: Acknowledge it; Face it; Resist it! Never give into it! REPLACE IT: The best way to destroy a negative emotion is to replace it for example:

REPLACE: anger with love, fear with faith, complaining with gratitude, bitterness with forgiveness, judgment with acceptance, feeling sorry for yourself with helping someone else. Do something to break the old routine. Try something new…take a different route home today, walk through an area of the park you’ve never been in, try a new restaurant or change your hair style. There’s a whole universe of knowledge, life and possibility just waiting for you.  Wash the cheese out of you mustache and enjoy the scent of life!

You can change your attitude when you want it badly enough. How bad do you want the stink to go away? MORE TOMORROW…

40 Day Challenge: You’d Better Change Your Attitude!

Some time back I was sitting in my dentist’s office when a magazine caught my attention. It was about the details of the plane crash that killed John F. Kennedy, Jr.  The investigators found that the airplane descended from 5500 feet to 1300 feet in just a matter of a few seconds. They said there was a major problem with the attitude of the plane. Now the word “attitude” is a special technical word that is used in aeronautics or aviation. Here is the definition of attitude in regard to aviation or aeronautics; “the position of an aircraft in relation to a given point of reference, usually on the ground level, referring to the horizon. So your attitude in an airplane is not something of passing interest. It is of vital, life-and-death importance.

When you are boarding a plane you are often allowed to look into the cockpit. In front of the sticks you will see a large instrument panel. It is called a flight director. One of the primary functions of a flight director is to provide an instant reading of the plane’s attitude, or positioning in relationship to the earth.

Pilots will tell you that it is as important to know your attitude as it is your altitude. You are able to know your degree of bank, pitch (nose up or down) and your horizontal positioning in relativity to the earth.  Altitude is determined by your relationship to the terrain in which you are flying. For example, 25,000 feet is high unless you’re flying over the Himalayas where the mountains can exceed 29,000 feet.

Flying an airplane is not the only place where attitude is important. I believe attitude is important in everything we do and is the main indicator of whether we are living a negative or positive life!  Just like with the JFK, Jr. aircraft, we are not careful to watch our attitude we can crash in a hurry!

In everyday life, attitude refers to the way we react to a situation emotionally. Attitude is your thoughts and views regarding anything, as well as the effects those view have on you emotionally and practically. Our attitude is an inward feeling expressed by behavior.

Notice 4 things about our attitude…

• Our attitude is the sail that determines the direction or course of our lives. It determines how the winds of life affect us. How we respond to the challenges and opportunities that come into our lives determine how they impact us. This is important because Proverbs 4:23 tells us to “keep our hearts with diligence because out of it comes the course, direction, or parameters of our lives.” Think about this for a minute; the enormity of our life is determined by the attitude we allow to develop within our minds and hearts.

• Our attitude is the thermometer of our spirit. It gives us an indication of the condition of our heart.  Jesus taught us that what comes out of our mouths and what is produced around us is a reflection of what is in abundance within us. Our attitude gives us a means of measuring the spiritual condition of our hearts. If you are struggling with an attitude problem, check your heart and see what issues are going unresolved.

• Our attitude determines our actions. Remember, attitude is an inward feeling expressed by behavior. No matter how diligently you try to control behavior, if you don’t change your attitude, you will always fall back into the cycle of brokenness or dysfunction when place in the right, or wrong condition. The other day I was aT rhe bank and saw a very refined, educated lady who owns and operates a large business get angry at a teller.  She got so mad, that she put her hands on her hip and said, and I quote, “Don’t make me go ghetto on you and climb over that counter and kick your…” (well, you know the rest of the statement.). Once the pressure got strong enough, she forgot all about her schooling, and culturing and reverted to her street attitude and behavior. Fortunately, another lady diffused the situation and thwarted a fight. Trying to modify behavior without truly changing the attitude will at best only be temporary. To change your behavior, you have to change what you believe and how you feel about the behavior. Then transformation can be permanent. (Rom. 12:2)

• Our attitude can be changed. Have you noticed what happens to a group of people when one person, by his expression, reveals a negative attitude? Or have you noticed the lift you receive when a friend’s facial expression shows love, encouragement or excitement? We all know an attitude can be seen without a word being said. Your face can reveal what you are thinking regardless of what you are doing. An attitude often is expressed by our body language and by the looks on our faces. However, it is possible to change our attitude.

Philippians 2:5 says, “Let this mind (attitude) be in you which was also in Christ Jesus…” The Amplified Bible translates it like this… “Let this same attitude and purpose and [humble] mind be in you which was in Christ Jesus: [Let Him be your example in humility:]” In other words we make a choice of what type of attitude we are going to have…choose a negative attitude and live a negative li; or choose a positive attitude to live a positive life…it’s all up to you…more tomorrow.

40 Day Challenge: Why?

WHY FORGIVE? The words jumped off the front page of Time magazine, January 9, 1984. The accompanying picture riveted the hearts of people everywhere. Pope John Paul II, with his left arm around Ali Agca, the Turkish gunman who had attempted to assassinate him a just eight months earlier, tenderly embraced the right hand that had aimed and fired the near deadly bullet. Leaning down, the still weak Pontiff whispered words of pardon, forgiving the man that out of shear hatred had tried to kill him.

While it may have been just a whisper to the gunman, it was a glorious declaration to the entire world of the power of God’s grace and mercy. When asked what he said, the Pope replied, “I spoke to him as a brother whom I have pardoned, and who has my complete trust.” Later, addressing women inmates in the same prison, John Paul II went even further proclaiming, “I was able to meet my assailant and repeat to him the pardon I gave him immediately. . .”

The only way to have a positive life is to learn to let stuff go immediately. Holding on to offenses and hurts will suck the joy out of your heart and cause you to live a negative, cynical life. The Bible meaning of the words translated as “forgive” are powerful. The Hebrews used three main words to express the concept. Kippur (atone) and shalach (let go) and nasa’ (lift up, bear, dismiss, send away) the term most often used by the Old Testament writers.

In the Greek, Apoluo (let go, loose, release one from prison), charizomai (be gracious) and the primary word, aphiemi, which means, “to let go, totally erase as though it never existed, reject, send away or spew out in an everlasting manner,” are used to project the full ideal of what real forgiveness means.

For many, just the thought of releasing someone of a wrong they have done seems weak. Especially when we all learn early on in life that unless you “stand up for yourself” others will take advantage of you!

Someone once told me that it was “unfair” to ask people to forgive…they said by doing so, we force them to  suffer twice: the initial hurt, and then again as they wish the one hurting them well at their own expense.

But allow me to turn the question around and ask, “If forgiveness is unfair, what is the alternative?” The obvious answer would be rage, animosity, revenge and retaliation. As someone much wiser than me once said, “The problem with getting even, is that it never happens! Revenge chains victims and offenders to the wrongdoing, with both parties hopelessly stuck on a merry-go-round of pain where each takes turns hurting the other.”

Learning to “release” or “let go” can often be a real challenge, especially if the hurt is deep enough.  However, the Bible gives us several reasons why as followers of Jesus we MUST let it go! In addition to what I shared yesterday, we must forgive…

1. For His Sake…We must forgive because we who have been forgiven now represent the one whom has forgiven our sins. We are His ambassadors in the earth and called to the ministry of reconciliation. We are the visible representatives of the invisible God. We are the prism through which the world sees Jesus. Even as the Father forgave us “for Christ’ sake,” we should forgive others in the same manner. (Eph. 4:32)
2. For Their Sake…When we forgive we release people and give them the opportunity to be freed from their wrong-doing. Do you realize that forgiveness comes before repentance? I know some will be shocked by that statement, but I assure you it is totally Biblical. In Luke 23:34, while dying on the Cross, Jesus offered forgiveness BEFORE any of us had repented of our sins and 1 John 4:20 tells us that we can only love Him “because He FIRST loved us!” WOW! 2 Corinthians 5:19 adds, “In Christ God was reconciling the world to himself, not counting their trespasses against them, and entrusting the message of reconciliation to us.”                                          Now let me clarify…forgiveness precedes repentance but reconciliation and restoration can only come once forgiveness has been accepted through repentance. In other words, we forgive even if people never apologize for the wrong they have done. However, THEY will never be free, nor can they ever be restored unless they accept that forgiveness and turn from their wrongdoing. Forgiveness gives them the freedom to experience a second chance.
3. For Our Sake… Forgiving is the only way to truly be free from the hurt we have experienced. It sets us free from the prison of the past and liberates us into the promise of a new and glorious future. Not to forgive is to sacrifice the potential of our future on the altar of our past.

Forgiving is going to be a constant challenge that we will have to address throughout our entire lives; so begin right now and choose to “let it go,” so God can release new joy and hope into your life and cause you to live in a positive and productive manner!

40 Day Challenge: You Can’t Make Me Hate You!

Victor Frankl, the famous psychiatrist, went through Auchwitz, the horrific German concentration camp, a place of torture, suffering and death for more than a million helpless people. He said, “They took my clothes, my wife, my kids, my wedding ring. I stood naked before the SS and I realized they can take everything in my life but they cannot take my freedom to choose how I will respond to them.”

Today, I want to make a shift in our study on fasting negativity. One of the things that most contaminates our attitudes is hurt and offense.  The sad truth of life is, offenses will come. All of us are going to have to deal with hurts, betrayal, offenses and conflict in relationships. While we cannot determine what others do to us, we can determine how we respond to what they do. We each have options as to how we respond. Unfortunately, many react with fear, frustration, anger, bitterness or some other form of retaliation. It is the response that determines how it affects us.  It can often affect me more than the wrong done. I can forgive it and grow in the love of the Lord, or I can allow it to stew in my spirit and become bitter and reactionary.

Bitterness is a process. It usually begins with a hurtful situation; someone does something that I believe is an injustice.  The more I think about it and replay it in my mind, the more convinced I become that the other person is responsible for the way I feel.  I then begin to talk about it with those closest to me. My reaction forces them to side with me or risks adding to my pain the element of rejection. The wrongdoing (or perceived wrongdoing), continues to grow from an offense into a root of bitterness that affects me and everyone around me.

Someone said,“Resentment is drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.” Bitterness is just resentment that has been held on to until it has spoiled. It has become rancid and rotten. The more it is nursed in my heart the worse it gets until it takes control of my life!

• Bitterness not only affects us but it affects others around us.  Look at Hebrews 12:15 which says, “…looking carefully lest anyone fall short of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up cause trouble, and by this many become defiled;” The Living Bible says, “hurting many in their spiritual lives.”

Notice the language that it uses: “lest any root of bitterness springing up.” It begins with us and then is spread into the lives of those close to us. They are defiled as well! We force people to take a side, or we respond to others based upon the unresolved issues we have with others. It affects all of our close relationships. It can even affect others’ spiritual lives. The things we may be able to keep in check they may not!

• Bitterness is destructive. The Bible warns “it will cause trouble and defile many.”  The Greek word carries the idea of “contamination or poison”. Bitterness has split more churches, destroyed more marriages, divided more families and caused more strife in relationships than anything else.  Bitterness spreads like gangrene and always causes death.

• It chokes off the word of God from producing in our lives.  I had people who were once productive members say to me, “I’m not getting anything anymore.” It is possible to sit in the atmosphere where the Word is being preached with power and accuracy and receive nothing because your heart has been contaminated. If you are not being built up by the teaching of the Word coming from your pastor, may need to examine your heart! It could be that you are choking off the Word from producing fruit in your life because of an offense or unresolved issue that is growing into bitterness.

• It gives the devil the advantage over you. (Eph.  4:25-27 NIV)  “Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to his neighbor, for we are all members of one body. {26} “In your anger do not sin:” Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, {27} and do not give the devil a foothold.”

So, how do we respond? Let me first tell you how NOT to respond…

1. Don’t nurse it. Refuse to allow self-pity to come into your heart. See it as it really is…an attempt of the devil to divide and destroy. Address it quickly with great love and move on!
2. Don’t rehearse it. The more you think about it, the deeper the hurt goes into your spirit. Make a decision not to think about it. Replace thoughts of hurt, anger or frustration with thoughts of God’s goodness; and always remind yourself that you need forgiveness, therefore YOU must forgive. Booker T. Washington, the famous black scientist, faced prejudice all his life said, “I will never allow another man to control or ruin my life by making me hate him.” Never allow the actions of others to control your emotions or decisions. Proverbs 16:32 says, “He who is slow to anger is better than the mighty, and he who rules his own spirit, than he who captures a city.”
3. Don’t verse it. Fight the temptation to talk about it, even with your closest friends. Remember the power of words to bring life and death. Choose to leave it under the blood otherwise it will consume your thoughts, conversation and imagination. A small situation can become a monstrous affair if it becomes the centerpiece of your conversations. Instead, allow God to be your vindicator and let it go!

40 Day Challenge: Better Watch Your Back!

In Jersey City, New Jersey, there is a rather odd looking, 34 feet tall bronze statue near the mouth of the Hudson River, of a soldier, gagged and bound, impaled in the back by a bayoneted rifle, atop a granite base containing Katyn soil. It commemorates the “Katyn Massacre” of more than 20,000 Polish and Jewish prisoners in April and May 1940 after by the Soviets. The Germans had invaded Poland as as a response the Russians invaded to stop the advance of the Nazis. Thinking the Russians were their friends, come to save them from the Nazis, the Poles surrendered quickly. The Poles knew that the Communists were diabolical, but the Russians were able to convince them that they were going to help Poland stop a mutual enemy in the Germans. Instead, they murdered them like animals in a forest and buried them in mass graves. Stalin, blood thirsty and wicked in his heart was responsible for the massacre of at least 25,000 innocent people (on this occasion alone), for reasons that are still unclear today. Talk about being stabbed in the back! Words are powerful!  

Today, I want to look one more time at how our words affect others.  We remember what happened to the nation of Israel at Kadesh-Barnea, (Numbers 13-14), we also saw how some of the unbelieving Jews poisoned the minds of the Gentiles at Iconium (Acts 14:1); but there are many other examples in the Bible that remind us of the power of words to influence people in either a positive or negative manner.

Look with me at 2 Samuel, chapter 15. Let me give you a little background into what precipitated this situation; Absalom’s sister, Tamar, was raped by her half-brother, Amnon. Absalom disagreed with the way his father, King David, handled it. He became very bitter and allowed unforgiveness, and a spirit of rebellion to fill his heart. I’m sure Absalom felt justified in what he was doing even though it was absolutely wicked and contrary to the plan of God. Absalom, who was a very handsome and appealing young man, was able to hide his secret disdain for his father and charm people with his charisma into following him and rebelling to the authority of the king.

Look at Verse 2…“Now Absalom would rise early and stand beside the way to the gate. So it was, whenever anyone who had a lawsuit came to the king for a decision, that Absalom would call to him and say, “What city are you from?” And he would say, “Your servant is from such and such a tribe of Israel.” 3 Then Absalom would say to him, “Look, your case is good and right; but there is no deputy of the king to hear you.” 4 Moreover Absalom would say, “Oh, that I were made judge in the land, and everyone who has any suit or cause would come to me; then I would give him justice.” (“If I was in charge, I’d handle it right…get the idea?”)   5 And so it was, whenever anyone came near to bow down to him, that he would put out his hand and take him and kiss him. 6 In this manner Absalom acted toward all Israel who came to the king for judgment. So Absalom stole the hearts of the men of Israel.”

Notice the term… “Absalom stole the people’s hearts away from David.” The word stole literally means “to get by stealth or to steal secretly, or to steal through subtlety.” A few carefully placed seeds, given a little water, can grow into a root of bitterness very quickly.

David had trusted Absalom with leadership and influence but Absalom did not like David’s response to the situation involving his sister. He stewed and schemed for several years. It most likely began with just words such as, “I don’t want to say anything against the King, but…” or, “I know he’s the king, but it should be about the people…” or “I love King David, but this just isn’t right…” Someone once said, “The biggest difference between your friends and your enemies is, you know who your enemies are.” David thought he could trust his son but was sadly mistaken! What began with subtle dissension ended with blatant betrayal!  

Little by little, his secret bitterness exploded into full-fledged rebellion against the Godly ordained leader.  He eventually led a revolt, forcing David to flee for his life from Jerusalem. Absalom’s rise to power was short-lived. He died a very tragic and humiliating death.

In this passage, there is a great lesson on why it is important to nix negativity in the bud before it destroys us and others. Notice the progression…

1. First of all, he was offended by the actions of someone and never forgave it. Secretly, he stewed against his father, but publicly pretended to support him knowing that his only real influence came from the platform David had trusted him with. Little by little, the more he thought about it, the more it justified his anger and eventual hatred and the more overt his comments against his father became!
2. He was so intoxicated by the power his position granted him, that he subconsciously decided to position himself so that David couldn’t “make it without him.”  I am sure that initially, he had no intentions of trying to overthrow the king, he was just “protecting himself.” He tried to look indispensable. He became a vacuum, sweeping up every ounce of influence and power he could get. He paid runners to go before his chariot and announce his arrival, much like kings and men of wealth and power did. He did all he could to elevate himself and project that he was a leader, loved and supported by the people. He tried to insinuate that he was “the one that keeps it all together.”
3. He bonded with the people personally. Instead of using the influence granted him by his father to rally people around the King, he drew them to himself.  He would say things such as, “Hey, where are you from? I thought I recognized that mid-western accent!” Most everyone likes to talk about where they are from. Someone said, “Nostalgia is remembering your past without recalling all the pain . . . remembering “the good old days,” but forgetting all the bad stuff that happened back then.”Even if you are not given to dwelling on where you grew up, you probably have some fond memories regarding it. Absalom used “small talk” to connect with the people personally. In our culture he would have invited them to dinner, a party, given them money or pretended to give them special favors or opportunities that no one else, including the King would offer them! He probably said things such as, “You know, the King is busy, and the money is not real good right now, but I love you and want to help you out of my own pocket!”
4. After he built personal connections to them, he began to sow the seeds of dissension and strife. In a soft tone he would say, “You know what, I agree with you…you’re totally right, and lots of other people are saying the same thing, but the King just doesn’t have things set up properly.  He needs better structure. He means well, but he promises things and can’t do them because there isn’t a deputy to help him. Now, I love the King, he is my father and all but, this isn’t right. I keep my word! If I was in charge, things would be so different.” The entire time he was pretending it was about the people, but really it was ALL ABOUT HIM! The Scriptures says, “So he acted toward all of Israel.” WOW! It was all an act. Psalms 55:21 says, “The words of his mouth were smoother than butter, but war was in his heart: his words were softer than oil, yet were they drawn swords.” He stole their hearts through deceit, pretending to care but it was all an act. After all if he would betray his own father, the one who had given him the platform to begin with, why should any of them think he wouldn’t use and betray them as well if it suited his purpose. Sadly, I’m not sure if he even realized what he was doing until he was so far gone he couldn’t get back! He became so corrupt and narcissistic that he couldn’t control himself any longer!
5. Finally, he begins to feel the pressure from the people around him to make a move. Once he felt he was justified and had enough support, he tried to take control of the kingdom failing to understand that “rebellion is as the sin of witchcraft” and that “authority is of God.” It didn’t work! He encountered a person even more shrewd, cunning, unscrupulous and ambitious than himself; his cousin, namely, Joab!

Once the battle began, the people who had supported him fled and abandoned him as he had abandoned his father. He died alone, dangling by his hair in a thicket with darts in his back! How sad but how symbolic of what he had don’t to his own father! Absalom and many of his followers perished in a bloody and needless battle. A very gifted and promising young man, with a tremendous future died as a fool dies and ended up as a warning to us of how negativity bound in a heart of a person can destroy their life.

It all began with a word! What emotions are your words inciting? Hope and encouragement, or fear and distrust? Remember you are creating the world that you must live in…

40 Day Challenge: An Eye For An Eye!

The Law of Moses required the principle of retaliation for the harm done to us by another. The concept of “an eye for an eye,” was replaced with the Law of Love by Jesus. In Matthew Chapter 5 and Verse 39, Jesus says, “turn the other cheek,”  and “love your enemies and bless those who curse you” (Verse 44). WOW! What an innovative thought!

Yesterday, I said that the words that we speak have the power to affect those around us. The Bible is filled with examples of this profound truth. One of the most significant, is found in Romans 12:14, which  says, “Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse.”

There are a several reasons why  we should be blessing people and not cursing them, not the least of which is the ideal that those who desire to truly please the Lord, and be like Jesus, have a natural longing to see others doing well and living in God’s best! But there’s more…

Look with me at 1 Peter, Chapter 3, and Verse 8;

“Finally, all of you be of one mind, having compassion for one another; love as brothers, be tenderhearted, be courteous; 9 not returning evil for evil or reviling for reviling, but on the contrary blessing, knowing that you were called to this, that you may inherit a blessing.”

Notice the term; “not returning evil for evil or reviling for reviling.” To revile means to condemn, berate or treat in an abusive manner. Peter exhorts those who feel they have been condemned or abused, or spoken evil of, not to reciprocate according to the flesh, but rather through the power of the love of God at work in their heart, respond with blessing or speaking goodness over the person’s life!

In chapter two Peter told us that we are to follow the example of Jesus, who when He was reviled, did not revile in return. Jesus never allowed the actions of others to determine His behavior; neither should we! While we can’t determine what others do to us, we can determine how it affects us by howresponds don’t to it!

He not only tells us what we SHOULDN’T DO, but he also gives us tremendous advice as to what we SHOULD DO when others speak hurtful and spite things about us! He tells us to “bless others!”

Regardless of what people do to you, you are to remain a source of blessing to them. The Greek word used for “bless, ” is ‘eulogia’. It is where we get our word “eulogy,” a term most often associated with the thoughts or reflections of a person at a funeral. It literally means to “speak good of one, or praise the positive traits of another!”!

The Scriptures tell us that by doing so, we not only we affect them in a positive manner but we also bring blessing back upon us. It is the epitome of the Law of Sowing and Reaping. When you speak blessing instead of cursing, you actually set yourself up to be blessed.

This is our calling as a follower of Jesus. We must resist the temptation to retaliate and instead, be like Jesus and carefully choose words that release blessing and good into the situation.

Sometimes, just a kind response to the aggression of another, will stop the situation from escalating and even possibility defuse the anger or hurt of the person speaking ill. Proverbs 15:1 reminds us, “a soft answer turns away wrath.” Our words can affect the attitude and response of even an angry and offended person in a positive manner.

Notice the term “inherit” a blessing. The ideal of “inheriting a blessing” infers that we won’t always see instant improvement, in the situation,  but if we just keep speaking good, we can change the atmosphere and create an environment that will faciliate a harvest of goodness in our future. If we retaliate with harsh or insulting words, we will reap a harvest of more conflict and ill but if we use our words properly and choose to speak life, we are setting ourselves up for blessing!

Peter goes on to say, “If you want to enjoy life and see many happy days, keep your tongue from speaking evil and your lips from telling lies.”

The principle is simple…our words are determining whether our lives are happy and enjoyable or if they are instead, filled with conflict and problems. While the idea of “an eye for an eye” sounds appealing to our flesh, in the words of Martin Luther King, it “leaves everyone blind.” Jesus taught us a higher law…the law of returning good for evil!

I want to challenge you today to refuse to retaliate to the hurtful and mean-spirited things others speak about you. Guard your spirit from offense and determine to sow seeds of blessing, and watch God cause even your enemies to be at peace with you!

40 Day Challenge: Talk Is Cheap!

Someone once said, “Talk is cheap because the supply always exceeds the demand.” Someone else said, “If talk is cheap how come the consequences are so costly?”

The truth is, we Americans love to talk. There are television and radio talk shows galore. Everybody seems to have something to say. The average American has 30 conversations a day and spends 1/5 of his life talking. In one year your conversations will fill 66 books of 800 pages a book. If you’re a man you speak an average of 20,000 words a day. If you’re a woman you speak 30,000 words a day.  It’s like the guy who was asked, “Do you resent the fact that your wife always has to get the last word?” He replied, “No, I’m just glad when she finally gets to it!”

Over past two weeks, we’ve seen that our words are powerful. They affect God, they affect us, but they also affect others. Ephesians 4:29-30 says, “…Let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption…”

The words we speak minister or impart something to those who hear it. If we can minister grace, then we can minister, guilt, joy, hate, etc. Our words have powerful influence. Have you ever been discouraged or feeling depressed and turned on the television to a comedy show and noticed that as soon as you begin to laugh, the depression lifts? The situation hasn’t changed; you have. The things you are hearing and watching have ministered something to you. Words can make you feel as valuable as a million bucks or as worthless as a screen door on a submarine!

Go back with me to our original passage in Numbers Chapters 13 and 14, for just a moment. The spies returned with what the Bible called an “evil report.” They were so preoccupied with the giants and the walled cities that they forgot about the promise of God to drive their enemies out. As soon as they gave their report, the hearts of the people melted with fear and they began to complain against Moses and even tried to select a leader to take them back to Egypt. The entire generation died in the wilderness and failed to enter in to the place God had prepared for them.

Some 45 years later, in Joshua 14 verse 8, Caleb, referring back to the previous generation who died in the wilderness, said, “Because my brethren (the other ten spies who came back), brought this negative word back, and their words robbed the people of their courage and caused their hearts to melt.”

A whole generation failed to receive the inheritance God had for them because the words spoken by the ten spies robbed them of their courage. See, words can carry doubt; they can carry fear; they can carry anger; they can carry hatred; they can carry despair. Or they can carry love; they can carry hope; they can carry courage; they can carry healing. Are your words ministering positive things to those who hear them or negative things? Are they building up, or are they tearing down? The choice is up to us but rest assured we will do one or the other!

What are you saying to your children, your spouse, your co-workers? How are your words affecting them? Are they encouraging, lifting, comforting and affirming? Or, are your words cutting, insulting condescending, or demeaning? You are creating the atmosphere you live in by the words you speak…make sure it’s an environment that will empower and not dis-empower you to reach the goals you are pursuing! Talk is cheap; but the consequences are costly!

Say this with me… “I will monitor my words and daily choose to speak words that bring life rather than death. I choose to be an instrument of God’s healing grace, not an inflicter of pain and hurt to others…In Jesus’ name. Amen!”

40 Day Challenge: You Better Hold That Tongue!

On a windswept hillside in an old English country church cemetery, in Hampshire County, Massachusetts, stands a dreary, grey slate tombstone on which the faints words can still just be distinguished: Arabella Young January 3, 1946-May 24, 2001 “BENEATH THIS STONE, A LUMP OF CLAY, LIES ARABELLA YOUNG, WHO, ON THE TWENTY-FOURTH OF MAY, BEGAN TO HOLD HER TONGUE. “

Today, as I conclude the aspect of how our words affects us, let’s look one more time at James Chapter 3. Read with me verses 10-12;

“And so blessing and cursing come pouring out of the same mouth. Surely, my brothers and sisters, this is not right! 11 Does a spring of water bubble out with both fresh water and bitter water? 12 Does a fig tree produce olives, or a grapevine produce figs? No, and you can’t draw fresh water from a salty spring.”

Two of the biggest lies of the devil are; “Words don’t really matter…” “…It doesn’t matter what you say about your church, your kids, your husband, your health, your boss, or your co-workers, and so forth!” The second lie is, “You can speak freely, nobody will know.” That is so wrong! We must be selective to be effective. Every time we speak we activate spiritual forces. We either agree with God, the devil, our circumstances, the flesh or the spirit. Every time we are embracing life or death. We have to speak on purpose. There are two forces contending for the ear of the Father in heaven. On one hand (the Right hand) Jesus is making intercession for us; on the other hand, the “accuser of the brethren” is making slanderous lies and accusations. Our words join us with other the other. We will either partner with Jesus by speaking life, blessing and goodness over ourselves and others or we will partner with the devil and join him in speaking death, judgment and accusation.

Your words create the environment in which your life is lived. They also set the limit and create the lid that determines how high you will go. They can destroy what you have spent years building as well as reveal what is really buried in your heart and mind.

Think about what James is saying…“The proof of the type of life flowing through your life is the fruit it bears, revealed by your words.” WOW!

Jesus said, “A good person produces good things from the treasury of a good heart, and an evil person produces evil things from the treasury of an evil heart. What you say flows from what is in your heart.” (Luke 6:45)

These two illustrations show us that in a real sense, words are not the source of the problem…they only REVEAL what we are thinking and believing in our heart. So, the real source of negativity, while revealed through our words, is produced in the heart! If you are consistently speaking negative words, it’s much more serious that you think. You don’t just have a tongue problem…you have a heart problem. A person with a harsh tongue has an angry heart. A person with a negative tongue has a cynical heart. A person with a reactionary tongue has a fearful heart. A person with a boasting tongue has an insecure heart. A person with a filthy tongue has an impure heart. A person who is critical all the time has a bitter heart.

On the other hand, a person who is always encouraging has an optimistic heart. A person who speaks word of kindness has a loving heart. A person who speaks truthfully has an honest heart. Proverbs 12:18 says, “There is one who speaks rashly like the thrusts of a sword, But the tongue of the wise brings healing.”

WHAT IS THE SOLUTION TO NEGATIVE TALKING?

1. Fill your heart with the word of God.

Ezekiel says, “Get rid of all your offenses you’ve committed and get a new heart and a new spirit.”(18:31)

When we submit our lives to follow Jesus, the Bible says, our heart or spirit is reborn in the likeness and image of God. II Corinthians 5:17 says, “Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new person. The old has passed away. Behold all things have become new.” When we were born-again we received a new life, new heart, and new spirit. Your sins were erased by the blood and you are given a brand new start. As we meditate in the word and “hide it in our heart,” (Psalm 119:11) the life of God begins to transform our lives.

Someone once said, “Painting the outside of the pump doesn’t make any difference if there is poison in the well.” We can change the outside, but unless the inside changes, we will always be dominated and controlled by the flesh.

2. Fill your mind by meditating on the word.

Romans 12:2 says, “Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.” (NLT).

Philippians 4:8-9 in the Message Bible tells us how to renew our minds…“Summing it all up, friends, I’d say you’ll do best by filling your minds and meditating on things true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious—the best, not the worst; the beautiful, not the ugly; things to praise, not things to curse. Put into practice what you learned from me, what you heard and saw and realized. Do that, and God, who makes everything work together, will work you into his most excellent harmonies.”

Whatever you mediate on will eventually come out of your mouth. If you fill your mind with the Word and begin to replace carnal thinking with spiritual thinking, the goodness of God will overcome the evil of the flesh and your word will be positive and uplifting!

3. Think before you speak

James 1:19 adds, “Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.”

He is tell us, to be sure to listen thoroughly and weigh the response that we give so that when we speak it is not uniformed, emotional or irrational. Rather, it is deliberate, intentional and proper.

4. Finally, the Bible tells us that giving thanks to God will help us control our words.

Ephesians 5 says, “Nor is it fitting for you to use language which is obscene, profane, or vulgar. Rather you should give thanks to God. You may be sure that no one who is immoral, indecent, or greedy (for greed is a form of idolatry) will ever receive a share in the Kingdom of Christ and of God. Do not let anyone deceive you with foolish words; it is because of these very things that God’s anger will come upon those who do not obey him.” (Verses 4-6 GNT)

Say this with me… “Father, please help me to place a muzzle on my mouth so that I can guard my words. (Psalm 141:3). Today, I choose to fill my heart with Your word and to meditate on your goodness so that my mind can be renewed to think like a follower of Jesus Christ. Help me to me positive and uplifting in my speech and not critical and judgmental, saying thing that I will later regret. In Jesus’ name…Amen!”

40 Day Challenge: Wonder What’s Really Under That Hood?

Some time back I went with a friend to look for a classic car to purchase. We looked at several, but one in particular seemed to stand out from the rest. It was gorgeous inside and out and according to the seller it was in perfect condition. He said it had been owned by an old lady who only drove it to church and the grocery store. To me, a person knowing very little about cars, it looked good, sounded great, had a terrific price, and was the car to buy! However, my friend kept walking around it, pressing on the gas-pedal, listening to the engine and looking under the hood. He came over to me and whispered, “Let’s get out of here! This car is a piece of junk… it’s about to throw a rod…”I never would have known there was a problem, but his trained ear was able to hear what was really going on under the hood!

As we begin a new week, I want to challenge you once again make a commitment not just to fast negative thinking and talking, but to replace it with positive thinking and talking. Our words DO affect our lives. They are just verbal expressions of what we are thinking. They are powerful.

So far we’ve seen that words…

1. Direct-they are like bits in a horse’s mouth or the rudder on a ship steering our lives in a particular direction.
2. Destroy-they are like matches that can burn down an entire forest, and as the venom of a viper, they can be deadly when used carelessly.
3. Display-they reveal what’s really going on within our minds and hearts.  James says, “With our tongues we bless God our Father; with the same tongues we curse the very men and women he made in his image. Curses and blessings out of the same mouth! My friends, this can’t go on. A spring doesn’t gush fresh water one day and brackish the next, does it? Apple trees don’t bear strawberries, do they? Raspberry bushes don’t bear apples, do they? You’re not going to dip into a polluted mud hole and get a cup of clear, cool water, are you? (James 3:9-12 MSG)

What we speak reveals our real character. It uncovers what is really growing in our hearts. No matter how diligent a person is in their attempt to project a particular image, eventually their words will remove the mask and show what they really are on the inside.

James points out how inconsistent our words can be. He says, “You speak words of praise to God and talk about His goodness, but then turn right around and gossip, slander, and criticize people.”

Isn’t it amazing how fast we can go from speaking positive words that bless and encourage to speaking words that hurt and degrade? It’s like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde…we can go from blessing (lifting, affirming and supporting) people to cursing (judging, tearing down and criticizing) people in no time flat!

You know what I’m talking about… “She always has that look on her face; I know he’s talking about me…I’m so sick of…” It is possible to be kind, loving, and gracious and then within seconds be mean, harsh and cutting with our words, even to people we love and care about.

I’ve seen parents go from loving and consoling, to angry and demeaning faster than a car can go from 0-60. They go from making their children feel good about themselves to saying things that inflict pain and hurt and lowers their self-esteem in seconds.

We can even do it to ourselves… We can go from feeling great about some accomplishment or achievement, to feeling like we are worthless and incapable in moments and say things such as, “I’m so scared that…I just don’t know what I’m going to do…I’ll never seem to get it right.” Sometimes we can be our own worst enemy simply by allowing negative thoughts to take on words that destroy our confidence and cause us to doubt God or ourselves.

Like that classic car, just because something looks good, and sounds good initially, doesn’t mean all is well on the inside. If you listen closely enough, what’s really going on under the hood will be revealed. Often times it is when the pedal is down…or when the pressure is on…when things aren’t going our way or we feel threatened that the real nature of our hearts is revealed.

James says, “This can’t go on…” He is telling us that if we are going to mature and be all we can be in Jesus, we have to bring out tongues into subjection. It begins with an examination of the heart. Allow God to address your insecurities, pain, anger, hurts and unresolved issues that cause inconsistent words to come out of your mouth…they do matter!

Say this with me…“Father I ask you to search my heart and show me any unresolved issues that create inconsistency in my words. Heal my wounds and fill me with grace and love so that I can believe in myself and others, and speak words of life and hope that will bless and never curse…others and myself…in Jesus’ name…Amen!”